end of a chapter

because Christmas is about forgiveness and asking for it.
because Christmas is about letting go and being happier.
because Christmas is about being thankful for the good times that were, and for the bad times that are over.
becuase Christmas is about laughter and good times and the Biggest Birthday Party in the world.

to kinder gods and fiercer loves
to brief jealousies and even shorter griefs
to wine, to tea, to sunsets and coffee
to family, friends, country.

maligayang pasko.
good journey and healing to you, ñ

craziest place i've ever worked in

welcome to the world of the lesser known greek and roman gods and goddesses, which includes the goddess of the flabby-bellied, big-armed, tattoo-sporting single women over thirty.

mooning the recovery room

gave birth to quadruplets yesterday -- a quartet of polyps (who i've named eeny, meeny, minie and moe) that have been residing in my uterus and have been making me a bit unwell this past year. so they had to go, in typical embarrassing and hilarious fashion, like everything else in my funny life.

a couple of things i’ve learned during this particular hospital stay, which i impart to you in the off chance you’ll find yourself in the same position as i am.

1. it is impossible to pee while laying down. it is doubly impossible to pee into a bedpan. it is only with superhuman powers that one can pee in a bedpan while lying down surrounded by people in showercaps and scrubsuits.

2. anesthesia makes you funny. at the start, it feels like a big punch in the arm, then it brings you to a soft fuzzy warm place where it is normal to smile goofily at anyone who comes your way.

3. the rudest way to wake up from an anesthesized sleep is having a catheter yanked out of you (aaaack!) it is the height of rudeness to have a catheter yanked out of you partway, then a pause to explain what is happening, before the damn thing is taken out completely.

4. hospital gowns have a reason why the opening is at the back. it’s to give patients a chance to moon the other patients in the recovery room.

have i grossed you out of your mind yet?
yes? good.
my work here is done. off to more world domination!